And Now For Something Completely . . . Relevant

And now, for the viewing pleasure of all, I present a link to and description of the wonderful company that makes all of this possible:

911 Wildlife!

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Self, why is 911 Wildlife so amazing?"

Well, 911 Wildlife was created by licensed wildlife rehabilitator Bonnie Bradshaw five years ago. For ten years, Bonnie has been rehabbing . . .

Yes, raccoons!

The raccoons Bonnie deals with are almost exclusively orphaned, usually by efforts to remove the mother from someone's house or backyard. This is, in fact, one example of a reason live-trapping can be inhumane. Most people can't tell if a raccoon (or squirrel, opossum or skunk) is a lactating mother, and taking her to another location could mean leaving her babies to fend for themselves.

However, you should think twice before relocating even a swingin' bachelor raccoon. Several studies (ex. “Toward a professional position on the translocation of problem wildlife.” S. Craven, T. Barnes, and G. Kania. 1998. Wildlife Society Bulletin 26(1): 171-177) show that most relocated animals do not live longer than a few weeks in their new environment.

Bonnie wanted to give people a way to keep their homes wildlife-free while keeping animals safe and keeping family units together. Luckily, AAA Wildlife Control, Canada's largest wildlife control company, has been makin' it happen with this philosophy for over twenty years. (So if you live in Canada, call these guys! Preferably only if you have a wildlife problem, but who knows? Maybe a talkative customer service representative would like to take your call anyway.)

Bonnie made a trip to Canada to investigate their methods and came back more convinced than ever that 911 Wildlife could work! Now it's been five years, and 911 Wildlife is serving more areas than ever, including Dallas, Fort Worth, and Houston, and boasts these fantastic features (taken from http://www.911wildlife.com/):

No traps or chemicals of any kind are used.

Specially designed one-way doors are installed to prevent animals from being trapped inside attics and chimneys or under foundations.

Exclusion work is guaranteed for 10 years.

Educational literature on preventing wildlife problems is provided to every customer.

Proven effective techniques endorsed by the Humane Society of the United States.

5-Star rating on Service Magic and Angie's List.

Darren and I are members of the Houston Team, so call 713-287-1911 with any wildlife questions or problems! Or, for the Dallas-Fort Worth area: Dallas (214)368-5911; Fort Worth (817)737-0911; Denton (940)898-0911; Sherman (903)893-2911.

Sorry about the novel, but now you know what we're all about!